i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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