She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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