Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
