I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
