dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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