i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
