Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
