dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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