so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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