Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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