some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
