Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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