i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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