There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
P.S. I can't hear my feet
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
