She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
