you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
