Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(862): View more from New Jersey

so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?

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(703): View more from Virginia

just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors

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(203): View more from Connecticut

he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.

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(330): View more from Ohio

The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.

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(256): View more from Alabama

this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.

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(415): View more from California

was it good sex?

(510): View more from California

i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was

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(727): View more from Florida

Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees

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(946): View more from

There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him

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