maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize