my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He felt like a one man threesome
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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