So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Randomize
