Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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