I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
