I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
