and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize