I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
