Little spoons don't ask big questions
honey bunches of taint.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Randomize
