Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize