I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
