We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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