Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
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