We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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