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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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