Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
