Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
