Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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