They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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