I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
