You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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