Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize