At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
