I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
