apparently the secret to your success is patron
honey bunches of taint.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
