I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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