i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
