ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
