it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
