You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
