its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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