probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
