My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Randomize
