Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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