Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
