Ambien. No doubt about it.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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