I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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