I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize