cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
