His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
