In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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