Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
