So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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