i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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