HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
