I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
