so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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