he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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