He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
