Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
