Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
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