Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
