Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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